


how we feel is hard to fake

by borrowedtime



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alex and Sam go to a parent and teacher meeting together, Because of Reasons, F/F, Sam is a bi disaster, love this accidental moms pairing, this is ninety per cent fluff because they cute!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-05-20 23:57:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14904602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/borrowedtime/pseuds/borrowedtime
Summary: It happens accidentally. It takes until Ruby comes home and says: “the kids at school think I have two moms” for Sam to realise anything happened at all.





	how we feel is hard to fake

**Author's Note:**

> I have seen very very little of the current episodes of Supergirl, but enough for me to want to write this domestic gay shit. Forgive any canon inconstancies. This takes place, idk, whenever and wherever really? Reign doesn't really come into it, for reasons, but mostly to keep this light and happy. 
> 
> Happy Pride Month, y'all.
> 
> Title from "Please Don't Say You Love Me" by Gabrielle Aplin.

It happens accidentally. It takes until Ruby comes home and says: “the kids at school think I have two moms” for Sam to realise anything happened at all.

Ruby is standing in front of her, and Sam is sitting on the couch relaxing. Rather, she was relaxing. Now she’s sitting up, at attention, and more than a little panicked. 

Right. People would think that Alex and her are dating because Alex is kind and drops Ruby off at school every other morning. Because Alex is great and showed up at that parent and teacher meeting one night, for moral support. Because, more often than not, when Sam is at the school, Alex is there one step behind her. Alex had become such an ingrained part of their life and Sam hadn’t even noticed it happen.

Right. Ruby is currently standing in front of her, eyebrows crinkled in confusion as she watches her mother. Sam fights all instinct to deny that anything is going on, and fly off the handle in some visceral gay panic. The thing is, Sam is not dating Alex. Does Sam want to be dating Alex? Almost certainly yes. 

“Um.” A decent start, all things considered. “Are you okay? What did they say?” 

Ruby shakes her head and sits down next to her. “It wasn’t like that. They didn’t say it in a mean way. They just said it.” 

“How did it make you feel?” She’s trying to stop her heart from racing, and she thinks she’s doing a fine job of feigning indifference.

Ruby snuggles into her shoulder. “It was okay.” 

She’s picking at the couch and it doesn’t register to Sam that she’s nervous until she says, so quiet that Sam almost misses it: “are you and Alex dating?”

Sam freezes. She could almost hit her past self for being so oblivious. It’s the 21st Century and she made a point to raise Ruby to be open minded. Have a woman over constantly and, of course, Ruby is going to start asking questions.

“No.” The truth is a good start. “We’re not.” 

“Oh.” She feels Ruby slump against her in disappointment. 

“Do you want me to be dating Alex?” 

Ruby shrugs. “Maybe.” 

“Why?” 

“Because I think she’s cool.” 

Sam smiles. “I’m gonna need a little more than that, kid.” 

“The boys at school are all too scared of her to pick on me.” Ruby is avoiding her eyes, but Sam makes an effort to keep her expressions light and encouraging. “She makes you happy.” 

Sam nudges her. “You make me happy.” 

Ruby scoffs. “That’s different.” 

“Yeah, it is. You’re right. I’m sorry Alex and I aren’t dating.” 

Ruby shrugs. “That’s okay. Can I tell Alex? She likes when things like this happen. When it’s normal.” 

Sam shakes her head. “Let me tell her.” 

The moment is gone and Ruby asks if they can make pancakes. All is right with the world again. Sam lets the conversation shift and tries not to think about why the thought of her and Alex being mothers together fills her with a lightheaded giddiness.

—- 

All is not right with the world when Sam has the sudden realization that she’s going to have to talk to Alex about this at some point. Alex is sitting across from her, at their weekly take out dinner, with her chopsticks in hand. 

When had that become a regular thing? Alex coming over after work, with Chinese food in hand. Sam eagerly awaiting her arrival. It’s the one day a week that Lena refuses to let her work late, because she knows about the tradition.

“So.” Sam takes a sip of water. 

Alex look at her, eyebrows raised and chopsticks suspended in mid-air. God, she’s beautiful. Something in the tilt of her chin and the way her hair frames her face. She looks a picture of surprise, with her mouth pursed in a silent question. 

Sam mentally berates herself for spending so long staring that she gets off track and has completely forgotten that she was the one who broke their comfortable silence. 

“Ruby told me that some kids at school asked if she has two moms.” 

Alex chokes, on thin air apparently. It’s then that Sam realizes her mistake. She should have phrased it differently, and made it sound less accusatory. And less like she minds the idea of them being mothers to Ruby together. Which she doesn’t, at all, but she’s tries valiantly trying not to think about that right now. 

Alex’s posture goes rigid. “Sorry. Do you want me to stop taking Ruby to school until the rumors die down?” 

Sam rushes to correct her mistake. “No! No, not at all. I didn’t mean it that way. I meant that it was funny. Ruby just mentioned it and asked if we were dating. The kids like you, because they think you’re cool. Ruby wanted to tell you. But I said I should tell you, so you’re not blindsided.” 

Alex goes back to shovelling rice in her mouth, somewhere during the mid-point of Sam’s speech, which still somehow looks utterly graceful.

“Ruby asked if we were dating?” 

Right. Trust Sam to reveal far too much information than was actually necessary. Sam takes another sip of water to hide her nerves. 

“Yeah. I told her we weren’t.”

“Because you’re....” Alex gestures with her chopsticks. 

Sam knows what Alex is waiting for to fill in the gap with. Straight. But the thing is, Sam isn’t quite sure that that’s true anymore. If it ever was. So, she takes a moment to gather her thoughts into some kind of sequential order. Alex lets her find her footing. 

“Not seeing anyone at the moment,” is what she settles on, eventually. 

Alex raises an eyebrow at that, but she doesn’t comment on it. Sam isn’t sure what Alex thinks at that point and she’s far too nervous to ask.

Ruby joins them a few minutes later, after having given up her homework. They settle on the couch, ready to watch a movie, with Ruby sandwiched between them. Sam tries not to think about how nice it is to have someone to raise Ruby with. To have Alex as that kind of partner. To have Alex, at all.

——

Alex has accompanied Sam to yet another school outing because Sam hates going to these things by herself. The looks from other parents — her, being alone. The explanations as to why there isn’t a man in her life. Trying to explain that Ruby is being raised just as well by herself, compared to the other kids that have two parents. The feeling of being judged. 

It’s for these reasons, which Sam has spoken to Alex in whispered confessions after one too many glasses of wine, that Alex had offered to come. She’s shown up on her motorcycle, straight from her job if her outfit is anything to go by, and is pulling off her helmet when Sam meets her in the parking lot. She’s dazzled, for a good moment, at the sight of Alex fixing her hair. This woman is going to be the death of her.

Alex spots her and grins. “Hey. Are you ready?” 

Sam sighs, but returns the grin. “No.”

Alex takes her arm in support and that’s how they walk into the building; arm in arm, ready to face what comes next. 

They wander over to the English desk. Her first meeting is with Mrs. Ames, at 6:05. They’re a little early, so the desk is empty. They settle into the respective seats across from the desk and wait. Sam taps her foot to give herself something to do. She only stops when Alex puts a hand on her knee. 

“You’re going to be fine.” She smiles but she looks so utterly serious and comforting that Sam pauses. 

“I hate these things.” She wants to pout, but fights the urge.

“I know.” Alex rubs a soothing pattern over her knee. “It’ll be over before you know it. I’ll glare at anyone who’s being a jerk.” 

Sam laughs. “Thank you.” 

That’s how Mrs. Ames finds them, smiling softly and laughing together. In all fairness, Sam should have expected her opening question. 

“Ms. Arias, nice to meet you. Is this your partner?” Mrs. Ames is smiling, even if she does look a little confused. The last time Sam was here, she made a point to mention that she was single. It felt good, at the time, to say that she was more than capable of doing this alone.

Alex stands up and offers her hand. Her handshake is firm and authoritative. Sam is a little more than sufficiently comforted. She’s something close to proud.

“Alex Danvers. Nice to meet you.” 

Sam is a little too wrapped up in the fact that Alex didn’t immediately correct Mrs. Ames that it takes her a moment for her to realize that both women are staring at her. 

“Oh. Um, should we start?” She’s so flustered that she completely forgets to correct Mrs. Ames herself, and then doesn’t want to bring it up later for fear of being awkward and drawing more attention to it. 

“Of course.” 

The rest of the meetings go well. All of Ruby’s teachers gush that she’s a well applied student, even if she does sometimes become a little too distracted. Alex is kind and charming, the whole way through. She has her hand on Sam’s back at one point, when a teacher asks a pointed question about whether or not Ruby is getting enough support at home. Sam doesn’t quite get enough of an opportunity to establish that Alex is a friend and that she’s there as moral support, so she doesn’t say anything about it. She lets everyone assume that they’re dating, also, because she doesn’t want to admit that she needed another person there to be able to get through the meetings unscathed. She’s been looking after herself for long enough that she has the hardest time admitting when she needs help. It’s a miracle she managed to convince herself it was okay to invite Alex here, in the first place.

Sam and Alex are walking out of the building, when Alex fishes her phone out of her pocket to check the time. It’s only 9 pm. 

“Did you want to go and get a drink somewhere? I’ll text Lena and ask her if she can stay with Ruby for a little longer.” Sam asks. She’s still jittery and skittish, and in no mood to go home.

Alex nods. “Need something to take the edge off?” 

“Absolutely.” Sam sighs. She texts Lena her plans and the other woman responds almost immediately with a ‘yes.’ 

“Get on the back of my bike, I’ll take you to a nice place.” 

Sam is all too happy to oblige. 

They end up at a small bar, near Sam’s place. They each get a beer and sit across from each other in a booth. The place is nice, cosy, and exactly the type of place Sam needed to visit in order to feel secure in the events of the previous few hours. 

“Are you okay?” Alex’s eyebrows are furrowed in concern. 

Sam takes a deep breath and nods. “Yeah. Just frazzled.” 

“I get that.”

They settle into a relative silence of drinking before Sam feels the need to break it. The beer feels sour on her tongue, as she swallows down a sip of liquid courage. 

“Sorry I didn’t correct everyone when they assumed we were dating. It’s just easier, than having to admit that I needed a friend to come along.” 

Alex smiles, reassuring and immediately disarming. “It’s okay. I was happy to be there, in whatever capacity you needed me to be.”

Maybe it’s the combination of those words and the rush of affection that Sam feels that explains what happens next. Maybe it’s the lightheadedness, the exhaustion and the beer. Either way, before she can stop herself and have the good sense not to say anything, Sam feels the words leave her mouth: 

“Did you want to get dinner with me next week sometime? If Lena can babysit Ruby?” 

Alex agrees immediately, and Sam is too wrapped up in the fact that Alex didn’t even have to think about saying yes, that she forgets she didn’t specify that it was a date.

—- 

As it turns out, Lena had been more than willing to babysit Ruby for the night. Especially if her parting wink was anything to go by, when Sam announced that she was going out to dinner with a certain DEO agent. So, Alex has agreed to show up at 7 pm. Which means that she’s about to show up any second and, like some nervous idiot, Sam still hasn’t decided on what to wear.

Sam is still standing in front of her closet, in a sweatshirt and track pants, when Alex rings the doorbell. Of course, Alex is here early, because she’s polite. 

Sam opens the door and takes in Alex, dressed in a leather jacket and tight jeans. She’s the picture of coolness. With a very flattering button up on, too. Sam feels a little overwhelmed with how goddamn good Alex looks.

And.... she brought flowers? 

Alex grins when she sees her, but she looks a little confused when she takes in Sam’s outfit. 

Alex hands her the flowers. “Felt weird not to bring anything.” 

Sam accepts the flowers and the explanation and lets her in. She walks off to the kitchen to find some oblong vase-like object to put the flowers in. 

“I don’t know what to wear.” Sam supplies. “Any ideas?”

“I don’t mind. Do you want me to take a look?” Alex offers. 

“Please.” She gestures to her bedroom. It’s far too domestic, but Sam can’t help herself.

Should that feel weird? Essentially, letting Alex dress her? Is it a sign, that it doesn’t feel weird at all?

Alex wanders off to her bedroom and Sam fills the container she found with water. Once depositing the flowers into the container, satisfied that she’s not going to accidentally kill them, she walks into her bedroom. 

She takes in the sight of Alex standing across from her closet and smiles. She leans against her doorframe. Alex has already laid out a few options. Dresses, a nice shirt and pants that Sam forgot that she had. Alex is currently trying to pick out shoes. 

“I didn’t know what kind of vibe you were going for. So, I gave you options.” Alex says, without turning around. 

Sam forgets, quite frequently, that Alex is an agent. So she’s a little startled that Alex heard her coming. She crosses the room and sits on the edge of her bed. She decides on a flower-y dress. It’s nice, form fitting and modern. Shows a nice amount of cleavage, too, but that’s not relevant.

“Can you grab me my black boots?” She asks. 

Alex knocks her own boots together. They’re the same colour. “Wanna match?” 

Sam shrugs. “I don’t mind.” 

Alex produces the boots requested and hands them to her. “I’ll let you get changed.” 

“Thanks. Sorry for making us late, by the way.” 

Alex heads to the door and smiles. “I don’t mind. My objective was to spend time with you, so, mission accomplished.” 

Sam can’t help the unrestrained glee that flows through her. She grins. “Go, team.” 

It’s dorky and domestic, but Alex laughs anyway. Loud and boisterous. Sam enjoys every single second of it. Alex closes the door behind her and Sam sits in some ridiculous state of smitten glee before she realizes that they have somewhere to be. 

—-

It becomes increasingly more and more difficult for Sam to remind herself that this is not, in fact, a date. It starts when Alex opens the door for her when they arrive. Because Alex is a gentleman. Gentlewoman? Either way, the action causes flutters in Sam’s chest that feel like birds taking flight and she tries to squash all date vibes that her mind seems intent on projecting. It continues when Alex pays for their first round of drinks, despite Sam’s protests. Because Alex is a kind hearted friend. Not because this is a date. Because this isn’t a date. Because Sam, like an idiot, failed to specify. 

Their waiter smiles when he brings their drinks over. He passes them and leans in, all conspiratorial joy. “So, my colleagues and I think you’re a really cute couple. So the next round is on us. Call it a pride month gift.”

Sam loses all ability to speak and can’t gather any words before he leaves. Alex, however, is a picture of charm and thanks him graciously. 

“I love pride month.” She says, after he’s left. “I’ve gotten so many free drinks.” 

Sam laughs. “That’s because you look like a lesbian.” 

"True." Alex chuckles and takes a swig of her beer. “Maybe you should get a haircut.” 

“Maybe I should.” It feels like admitting too much, but Sam is comfortable and she always has a surprising level of ease around Alex that she can’t help it. Alex makes her feel warm. 

Alex toys with her beer for a moment. Avoids her eyes. “I meant to ask. Is this a date? I wasn’t going to say anything, but Kara told me I was being an idiot.” 

Sam freezes. “Um. Yes?” 

Alex laughs. “That sounded confident.”

“I mean. I meant, yes it’s a date. I just wasn’t sure if that was what you wanted it to be. And I know you thought I was straight and I didn’t want to be unfair. I’ve never really thought I was attracted to women but I like you and I didn’t want to—“ 

“Take a breath, Arias.” 

Sam does and then she waits. 

Alex pauses, teasing, and takes a long swig of her beer. She takes an absurdly long time, with an unfairly attractive smirk on her face when she puts her bottle down. 

Then, she says: “I’m a little surprised you didn’t figure out I’ve had a crush on you for months.” 

Sam stamps down her almost unfathomable glee and manages to quip: “I’m not the detective.” 

Alex laughs and holds up her hands in defence. “I thought you were straight.” 

“Clearly you weren’t around for Lena’s ‘don’t assume other people’s sexualities’ speech.” 

Alex raises an eyebrow, at that. “No, I wasn’t. She’s —?” 

“Fluid.” 

“Cool, yeah, there was a vibe.” 

Sam laughs. “Nice to see your gaydar isn’t completely off.” 

“Well, I’ve seen her around my sister. She isn’t subtle.” 

Too be fair, none of them are particularly subtle. 

—- 

They go back to Sam’s because it’s closer. Sam is pleasantly buzzed but she’s still a little worried that Alex is going to want to come inside. She’s not sure how she’s go about explaining that to her precocious daughter. The same precocious daughter who she just told she was single. 

Luckily, or perhaps not luckily because Alex is unerringly perceptive, Alex slows when they get close to the door. 

Sam starts trying to explain herself. “I’m really sorry, I just—“

Alex shakes her head, but she’s smiling. “Don’t want to explain it to Ruby just yet. It’s fine, Sam.”

Still, she lingers and loiters in the hallway. Sam rolls her eyes, grabs her hand and pulls Alex towards her. She adjusts her posture and kisses Alex firmly. Alex melts immediately into it, which is more than a little flattering. Kissing Alex is just about as amazing as she’d imagined it would be. Alex’s lips are soft, but insistent, and little sparks shoot through Sam every time Alex adjusts herself to kiss Sam at a different angle than before. She grins when she bites Alex’s lower lip and feels Alex inhale.

They don’t get further than a few minutes of kissing before the door swings open and Lena pops her head out. 

“Sorry to interrupt. I heard you in the hallway.” Her smirk is far too smug and knowing for Sam’s taste. 

Alex pulls away and Sam rolls her eyes at Lena’s joy at the flush of embarrassment on Alex’s face. 

“Text me.” Alex says, as she kisses Sam on the cheek. “We can organize the next date.” 

“You’re adorable!” Lena calls out as Alex walks down the hallway. 

Alex scoffs and flips her off, on her way out. “Cut it out, Luthor. I’ve seen you around my sister.” 

Lena rolls her eyes. “May I just say, thank god that happened. I’ve been waiting for this to happen for months. Living vicariously through it, if you will.” 

Sam laughs. “Shut up.” 

They walk inside and Sam catches sight of pizzas on the bench. 

Lena beams. “We made them. Do you want any?” 

Sam shakes her head. “I’m good.” 

She catches sight of Ruby sitting on the couch, twisted around so she can see her mother the minute she enters the room. 

“Mom!” She launches herself off the couch so she can hug Sam firmly around the middle. 

Sam laughs. “Hello. Did you have a nice night?” 

“The best! Lena's the best!” Ruby grins up at Lena. “How was your date?” 

“Very good.” 

“I’ll bet.” Lena murmurs, under her breath.  
In retaliation, Sam elbows her in the ribs. 

Ruby’s smile grows mischievous. “When are you going to tell me who it was with?” 

Sam rolls her eyes. “Soon. Now, say goodbye to Lena. It’s your bedtime.”

She tells Ruby about a month later, after her fiftieth question about it, that morning. She’d been on about five more dates with Alex, enough that she’d been confident that they were now seriously together. It was about half an hour before Alex was due to be over for breakfast. Ruby had been absolutely overjoyed, and hugs Alex a little tighter when she arrives. 

Sam ushers her in and kisses Alex once on the mouth, simple and quick. Alex startles a little and watches Ruby’s facial expression. She’s far too interested in the pancake batter she’s mixing in bowl on the bench top to have noticed them.

“It’s fine.” Sam murmurs. “I told her.”

Alex grins. “She broke you, huh?” 

That Ruby did hear, and she smirks up at Alex. “Hell yeah.”

“Hell yeah.” Alex agrees.  


Sam side-eyes her daughter. “Did Alex teach you to say hell yeah?” There's a guilty flush to both of their faces, and its so delightful that Sam can’t do anything but laugh about it. Then, she places a frying pan on the stove. 

“Alright, which one of you wants to help me cook the pancakes?”

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are great, if you've got 'em. :)


End file.
